Castle Moves On
by Guarding My Castle
Summary: Kate does not answer the question so Castle walks away from Beckett and the relationship he worked so hard for. They both move on. But where do they go? And is there any chance for them?
1. This Diamond Ring

**Castle does not belong to me. It belongs to Marlowe ,ABC, Etal**

**This story is my nightmare brought on by the season finale. A finale that I hate.**

* * *

"It's who you are. You don't let people in. I've had to scratch and claw for every inch"

"Castle…" Beckett says in desperation

"Please let me finish" Castle takes a deep breath

"I've been thinking about us. Our relationship. What we have Where we're headed"

He pauses while shaking his head. She watches his facial expression darken. She can tell by the way he is looking out into the distance that he is thinking about how he is going to tell her that he is finished with her. He has had all he can take of her leaving him in the cold when it comes to their relationship. She feels a rush in her head as the blood is leaving her upper body

"I've decided I want more. We both deserve more"

Her mind is telling her that he is getting ready to leave her and she needs to stand strong. She is getting weaker with each word he speaks

"I agree" This way she seems ready to move on

"So whatever happens, whatever you decide…"

HERE IT COMES. The big good bye. Her heart is breaking as she watches him getting up to leave. She feels dizzy

He drops to one knee and she hears him speak the words that she never thought she would be spoken to her ever in her life from any man

"Katherine Houghton Beckett, will you marry me?"

There he is on his knees holding a beautiful diamond ring up to her

She tries hard to catch her breath, but the air will not enter her lungs. She wants to answer him, but nothing is leaving her mouth. Her heart is screaming. "Answer him! Answer him!" but no words can he spoken.

Then his face changes. She sees his expression as it changes from hope then falls to defeat. She can see the resolve come into his eyes that he has lost her.

"Kate, I hope that someday you find whatever it is that you are searching for and that it makes you happy"

He stands up and without another word turns and walks away.

She finds that she still cannot move. Her legs will not obey her brain and let her stand. After what seems like an eternity, she finally presses her legs to rise but all she can do is collapse to the ground

She watches helplessly as Castle steps into a taxi and leaves the park

Richard Castle has hailed a cab and given the driver the address for The Old Haunt. This is a place where he can go and be secluded and protected from any intrusion from anyone. Once he arrives there, he tells Paul, the bartender that his is not there and no one is to be allowed into the private office. Castle then reinforces the words "NO ONE" is to be allowed in. That is his conformation that everyone including the boys or Beckett will be told Castle is not there.

Once in his office Richard sits down at his desk and looks out to the wall opposite where he has put a book case containing mementoes of better days. He has keepsake items he bought when he was with Kate at the Hamptons and also a trip to the Jersey Shore. Then later, just them at Coney Island and finally one wild weekend where the two of them snuck off to Vegas for just a little romantic fun. He remembers they didn't even leave the room for three whole days.

The shelves also contain all his favorite photos of him and her that they had taken. Well at least all the photos that can be shown in public. He does have a few pictures that they took at either her place or his that cannot be displayed anywhere except in the privacy of their room.

"What Happened to us?" He screams at the top of his lungs as his head leans back in his chair. He is glad that his office is sound proof or he knows that the entire bar staff would be running down the stairs to see what has happened.

Richard Castle slowly stands and walks over to the book case and begins removing these small items and placing them into a box. He fills several boxes and then closes the flaps and seals them with tape. Doing this feels like he is closing that part of his life and sealing it forever. After emptying the shelves he takes the boxes and carried them to the secret prohibition corridor behind the bookcase and places them at the very end. Farthest away from his door symbolic the farthest place away from his heart

He steps back to his desk and sits down. He takes the diamond ring out of his pocket and looks at it. A symbol of his love for her. His feelings for her. His desire to be her one and done. But obviously she has other more important items on her agenda now than staying and being with him.

He thought things had gotten so much better between them. She seemed to have changed over the last two years. In fact she changed a lot over the last five years. When they met she was straight laced and by the book. No fun. Only business. She wanted him to stop acting like the child he was inside. He wanted to see her fun side come out. She wanted him to grow up. He wanted her to believe in magic and Santa. Neither of the two of them was willing to change their ways for the other one

But they both changed. He grew up some. She opened up some. He wanted her. She wanted him. Neither admitted that part even to themselves.

'But now they began a dance to the music'

Four years ago she threw him out for getting involved in her mother's case. Then took him back after he helped her solve a murder.

'And the dance continued'

Somewhere in this mixed up relationship they shared, he realized that he fell in love with Kate. He was changing to make her happy. He wanted her to love him back. He made a bucket list and the very first item he placed on that list was "Be with Kate". It was the most important event he ever planned for. He even went out and bought the ring that he is now holding so that when the time was right, he was ready. He carried the ring in his pocket on many occasions, just in case the opportunity presented itself but before today, the time was just not right.

'And the dance continued'

Then two years ago she threw him out when he tried to get her to stop digging into her mother's case. He had the ring in his pocket that day. But she he tried to save her from the assassin's bullet at Montgomery's funeral and he continued to search for the shooter. So she took him back

'And the dance continued'

Then a year ago she threw him out again for lying to protect her. He again had the ring in his pocket. This time she went to him to take her back. Not only did he take her back, but she joined him in a relationship he was hoping for them to be in for the rest of their lives.

'And the dance continued

He marveled in how she became a different person. She became someone with him that had never seen before. She found fun in life. She opened up on a very personal level. She joined him in some very romantic activities. Some very, very fun personal things. Activities he honestly did not know they would share together.

'And the dance continued'

He opens the wall safe and places the small piece of paper containing his bucket list on the bottom and lays the diamond ring on top.

Four years ago during one of his more childish moments he asked her "How do you know when you're in love" and her answer "All songs make sense" is so true.

He thinks about a song from 1965 called "This Diamond Ring" *

This song makes sense to Castle now

Who wants to buy this diamond ring?

This diamond ring doesn't shine for me anymore  
And this diamond ring doesn't mean what it did before

So if you've got someone whose love is true  
Let it shine for you

This stone is genuine like love should be  
And if your baby's truer than my baby was to me

This diamond ring can be something beautiful  
And this diamond ring can be dreams that are coming true

And then your heart won't have to break like mine did  
If there's love behind it

'Today the music stopped.'

* * *

***Words and music by Al Kooper**

**Performed by Gary Lewis and The Playboys**


	2. Graduation Day

Three Months Later

The graduation ceremony for the new group of special agents has commenced. Katherine Beckett and her fellow agents are sitting on the first row in the audience. She is trying hard to listen to the words being spoken by the guest speaker. She is trying to garner pearls of wisdom but her mind is anywhere but here today.

For the last three months she has sat in class listening to boring lectures about laws and procedures. She learned when she can and cannot get involved in a case inside of some city's or state's jurisdiction Gone to weapons training where she learned to use several types of weapons that she was never exposed to while with the NYPD. Given extreme hand to hand combat training and marshal arts skills that she could use to protect herself in the event she was without her gun or another type of weapon.

And finally trained on the long boring list of people that is in the chain of command for her.

Now she is sitting here listening to the final speech that has become 'her life'. The man currently at the podium is a retired special agent with NSA who was around when that agency was founded. He was one of the members who had to tell his friends he worked for the State Department because the NSA did not officially exist back then but today it is front page news when some terror plot is revealed by them.

He tells the stories of how they were limited in what they could do. How the NSA and FBI never spoke to one another even though they both might be chasing the same bad guy. Or how the CIA could not investigate inside the counties' borders but might be chasing behind a terrorist entering the country but could only pass of the intel and in many cases, the data just fell on deaf ears and not followed up on

But today things are different. Kate is going to be with an agency that does not fall inside of the borders of jurisdiction that limits the FBI, CIA, and NSA. She is working directly for the Attorney General of the United States. Theirs' is a special team. A team with almost no boundaries. She will have free reign an all fifty states and US possessions. To anyone with a desire to be more, this job is a fantastic opportunity.

But it's not enough. Those are the words that she used many time before, except then when she used them the words were directed toward a relationship she had with a person and not a job. She really liked Demming. But that was not enough. She really liked Josh, but that was not enough now she really liked this job but it's not enough. After just tree months of training her heart is not in it anymore.

Her train of thought is broken by the applause when the guest speaker steps down from the stage and the Aaron Sanderson Attorney, General of the United States gets up and speaks

"Ladies and Gentlemen, without further ado I wish to present to you these agents who will now be working for the benefit of all of us in this country"

All five of the new appointees stand and prepare to step onto the stage. The AG calls each by name as they join him. He presents each one of them with a certificate, their badges and ID cards.

Kate is looking out into the audience trying to find the all faces of her friends. But instead of seeing everyone, all that she sees there is Lanie and of course her father. Sadness is present all over her face because she knows why Esposito and Ryan did not come. She feels pain as well because she was hoping that maybe, just maybe Castle might show up for this very special occasion in her life after all they were partners for five years

After the ceremony there is a reception in the conference center next door to the Attorney General's office building. Beckett along with her fellow graduates move there as a team and meet with the visitors after they arrive. Beckett finds her dad and Lanie and joins them at a table.

"Katei, I am so proud of you and what you have done here today" Her dad gushes to his only child

"Thanks dad" is all Kate can respond. She is not overly excited now that only two showed up for this event It is very evident that she is not all in with the program

"Girlfriend what is wrong with you tonight? You just moved into one of the most prestigious jobs in the country. In fact only 5 people joined the group today and you were one of them. So why the long face?"

Beckett is looking off in the distance. "Nothing Lanie, I'm just a little tired. Hey both of you. Thanks for coming down tonight. I am really glad to see both of you"

"I'm glad I could come Katie. But I do have to get back to the city. I have a deposition early tomorrow morning. So I will leave it to you two girls. Love you and I am so proud of my girl" Jim says as he is getting up to leave

"Bye dad. Love you too" Beckett answers. But the moment he turns his back to Kate to walk away, tears pour from her eyes

Lanie is watching closely "Kate! Are you going to be ok?"

"I don't know Lanie. I just don't know. I miss him so much"

Lanie reaches out to take Kate's hand "You knew what was required of you if you took this job before you came here. You knew you had to dump Castle to do this"

"Lanie, I thought that we were just having fun. A fling. I thought I was just a number in his little black ..."

At this moment the other three women who graduated with Kate step to the table and sit down between Lanie and Kate. Beth Hopkins who grew up in Taos, New Mexico, Sandy Pearson hailing from Littleton, Co. and finally Charlotte Rawlins from Florida.

"Hey Becks! Who's this" Sandy pops off

Kate is still struggling to regain her composure "This is Lanie Parish from New York. We worked together there. She is a medical examiner" Then Kate introduces the three to Lanie

"Good to meet all of you." Lanie states "Have you three been taking good care of my girl here?"

Charlotte answers "We have tried, but to tell you the truth. Beckett here is pretty much kept to herself these last three months. We were hoping to take her out tonight and peel the onion back and try to find out the real story on her. But now that you are here we can interrogate you and get the answers we need"

Beckett is fighting for all she is worth to keep from completely falling apart when she finally says "OK you three! Let's go. I know a bar over on Market Street where we can get bombed out and you can get all the juicy details on me."

Kate stands up and grabs Lanie as the five women leave the reception and head out into the night

It is a short walk to the bar for the five ladies. Once inside they find a table in the corner and Beckett orders a round of drinks for all five women. After the third round, is served, it appears that at least one or two are feeling very little pain.

Then Sandy finally asks "All right Beckett spill. We have all told you all of our history. But you have been mum. Give us some back story about Kate Beckett"

Kate takes the glass in front of her and downs the brown liquid. Places the empty glass back on the table and looks at some imaginary spot on the top

"I was born in New York. My mom and dad were both attorneys. We lived in Manhattan. I graduated from Bed-Sty High school. After high school I was pre law at Stanford."

Kate stops as she always did when her mother's murder comes up

Lanie decides to help her past this "Kate's mother was murdered and she came home from college."

The other three women all give their 'I'm sorry' to Kate.

Then Lanie continues while Kate recovers "Beckett joined the police department so he could find the killer. She became the youngest woman to ever make detective. She later was made the team leader"

Beth comments "Yeah, we heard that you had the highest closure rate in the city. Higher than any other detectives"

Lanie answers "Yes. They were the best. And I can tell you that her team solved some really weird cases in the day"

Beckett looks at her friend "All right Lanie, enough. They don't need all the publicity stories."

"No this was not just for publicity. Kate's group was the best. They will probably fall to last place now that she is gone"

Kate puts a frown on her face "I am sure the three of them can keep up with the closures"

"You mean the two. Espo and Kevin"

"What happened to Rick?" Kate appears to honestly not know

"Kate. He left. We have not seen him in months"

"What? Has anyone talked to him or seen him?"

"He came by the day you resigned and told Javi and Ryan that he enjoyed being a part of the team, but he would not be coming back. With you gone, he had no reason to come back"

Kate's eyes are holding back tears "Lanie, I had no idea. Where did he go?"

"No one knows. He stopped answering his phone and we finally all gave up"

The other three women are trying to decipher this conversation when finally Charlotte asks "Who is Rick another officer?"

Beckett shakes her head knowing she can't answer the question so Lanie fills in the blanks

"He was a civilian consultant who wormed his way into the team and after a few years of being a big help he spent most of his time chasing Kate"

"Were they a couple?"

"Oh in the biggest way! In fact we all thought they would…you know make it permanent, but this job came along and…you three know the rest"

Beth has a funny look on her face "So you left a boyfriend for this job?"

Kate shakes her head yes

"Why?"

Beckett tries to answer "I didn't know if what we had was real. If we were going anywhere long term. If he felt strongly enough about the relationship"

"Oh so he was never there for you?" Charlotte questions

"No! For the last five years, he was always there for me"

"So, he messed around with other women?" Beth asks

"No. After he knew I might be available he was always with me and no one else"

"He made you think it was just for fun?"

"No he always showed he wanted emotional connection"

"You came here because he didn't support the job?"

"I didn't tell him about the job"

The three don't understand her position on this. Charlotte finally asks "Kate, then why did you leave him for this job? It sounds to me like he was a keeper"

"He never wanted to talk about the future."

Lanie finally decides to say something that she has held back

"Let me tell you about this man. Just before this job came up, Kate was on an investigation and stepped on a bomb trigger. If they did not disarm the bomb, it had a timer and was going to explode killing her. Castle refused to leave Kate to die alone. He could have left the building and would have been safe. But he stood by her until they figured out how to disarm the device. And they did it with only seconds left"

Beth has a look of complete shock on her face "You HAD a man willing to die with you rather than live without you and you question if he was committed to your relationship? Kate you are the one who needs to be committed. That man loves you more than life itself. You need to go get him. Where is he now?"

"He loved me! Past tense. Just before I left for DC he proposed and I couldn't answer. He got up and left"

Lanie takes in a gasp of air "Girlfriend! Castle proposed and you turned him down? What is wrong with you?"

"Lanie I tried to answer but I couldn't breathe. I tried but no sound would come out of my mouth"

Suddenly Beth's hand goes to her mouth "You said Castle! Are you talking about Richard Castle? He author?"

Lanie responds "One in the same"

Looking at Kate, Beth eyes grow large and she exclaims "You're Nikki Heat! Oh My Gosh! He wrote all those books about you."

Charlotte asks "Richard Castle asked you to marry him and you are here and not there? WHY?"

"I really don't know" Is all she can say


	3. Tell Me Why

**But some of the readers don't like the story so far. Others say just the opposite. If you have ever looked over my stories, you know I tend to leave you driving down one road while the entire time I am steering another.**

**I do have an ending in mind that at least for me solves the giant**  
**open wound that Marlow left.**

**But in the meantime... **

* * *

Richard Castle is sitting in a lounge chair out on the lawn of his home in the Hamptons watching the sun rise over the ocean. He has a pot of coffee, a laptop computer and he is listening to his favorite thing

That sound of the ocean just a hundred feet away.

This has been his life for the last three months. He has not been able to go back to the city just yet because he doesn't want to sleep alone in his bed there.

His peaceful moment is interrupted by the e-mail client of his laptop chiming that he has an incoming message. He looks at the screen and smirks as he opens the note. It is another message from Paula ragging him about a book signing that she has scheduled for this weekend in Maryland. He responds to her that he remembers the appointment and he will be back in the city this afternoon so he can get ready to go to whatever event she has planned for him next.

He closes the email and returns to the word document that he had open. The first chapter in the next book in the Nikki Heat series. He has tentatively called it "Cooling Heat"

He considers the title appropriate after what has happened. But the bottom line is that he is planning to continue the series as long as he feels he can write the stories and do them justice. He has already done enough research to write fifty books. So there is no need to interact with her. The only real problem for him will be for him to write any love scene between Rook and Nikki since their escapades were more or less based on his personal experiences with his love, oh wait. Former Love. But today like all the days during the last three months he has a serious case of writers block and just cannot seem to become interested in the story.

He closes the laptop once again and gives up on starting a new story. He takes his coffee cup from the table and then looks at the empty chair on the other side from him. This is the chair that Kate always sat in when they came to the Hamptons. She would be relaxed. listening to the ocean just like he did. Feeling the warmth of the sun on her face. Leaving all of her worries back in the city. But now the chair is empty. And evidently it is going to be empty forever.

Rick stands and walks down to the beach to watch the waves come on the shore. The morning seems melancholy. He cannot get her out of his head. It has been this way every day for the last three months. Three long tedious months have gone by and he still cannot think of anything else let alone another woman. He is not sure he is interested in another relationship. Not now and maybe not ever The last three relationships ended really badly for him. No wait! The last one ended in disaster.

His phone vibrates and he looks down to see he has a new message. A message from Beckett. Over the last few months he has received several texts from her. Mostly asking him to call her or answer her calls after he ignores the ring. But this is different. It has four words

"We Need To Talk"

Yeah! Right! We all know how that ended the last time they talked. He cannot take another ending like that one. He places the phone back into his pocket

Castle turns and walks back to the house, picking up the items from the table on the way. He goes back inside and starts putting everything away in the house before he heads back to the city for his book signing trip.

* * *

Richard Castle arrives at the airport with just an overnight bag. He is spending one night in Baltimore then Saturday he will be at a Borders Books that afternoon to sign copies of any and all of the novels that customers will bring in.

This is not a particularly long flight but all trips for him are just draining. Before when Kate was with him, he was always occupied and happy. Now the time drags as he waits to be at the next destination.

* * *

Agent Katherine Beckett has the weekend off so she has decided to try and mend fences and maybe try to re establish one relationship. A relationship that almost never happened but after it started it was better than anything she ever experienced But she is pretty sure since he will not even answer a text message or answer his phone that he is lost to her forever. She is trying to not think about the possibility of forever, but she has to be realistic. He may never acknowledge her presence again.

She buys a ticket to New York and is waiting in the departure lounge at Maryland/Washington Airport. The flight to the city is a turn around. The late afternoon flight inbound from New York is refueled and then turns around and returns to New York.

* * *

At the arrival concourse at Maryland Washington Airport, he walks directly out to the waiting car and they head directly for his hotel

* * *

Kate Beckett is looking out the windows as she watches the plane arrive at the gate. She stares thru the glass at the tarmac while the plane parks and the passengers disembark. She waits impatiently to board the plane. She wants to get to New York to try and fix some things not knowing the very man she is wanting to see so desperately is stepping off this very aircraft and walking less than fifteen feet from where she is sitting. He is exiting the airport on his way to a hotel in Baltimore for the night while she is en route to New York for the night

* * *

In the car on his way to the hotel, Richard Castle takes his cell phone out of his pocket. He scrolls through the saved messages until he gets to the messages from Kate. He has not deleted any of the messages from her. He has three months of messages sill in his phone He can't seem to bring himself to delete them. There is just something about them being from her that prevents him from deleting the messages like he did the entire file he had on Kate last year.

He knows he needs to move on but his heart does not want to let go.

Suddenly another song pops into his head.

And it makes sense

* * *

_TELL ME __WHY*_

_You tell me that I should not cry  
You tell me all good things must die  
You ask me why I get upset  
You tell me that I will forget  
Tell me why_

You say I can't be blue for long  
You say I'll find  
New love that's strong  
You tell me she was not for me  
It's just the way love has to be  
Tell me why

Why I cannot see her  
She won't let me see her  
Tell, tell, tell me why

You tell me I will find my way  
Tomorrow wont be like today  
You tell me life was meant to be  
One-third good, two-thirds misery  
Tell me why

* * *

*Written by Ron Elliott Performed by The Beau Brummels

**I had a brain freeze thinking about the line from season 2 I think.  
About "All songs make sense"**  
**So I am planning on throwing a few more in**


	4. Only Love Can Break A Heart

Lanie Parrish is getting ready for bed when she hears a knock at her door. "Now, who in the world could this be at this hour?" Is her thought? She is very surprised when she opens the door to see her old best friend Kate Beckett standing in the hallway with an overnight bag

"Girlfriend! What are you doing here?" Lanie speaks in surprise

"Hey, Lanie. I came to town for a couple of days to visit. Can I crash here tonight or do you have company? " Kate is glancing around the apartment looking for Esposito "If you are expecting someone I can go to a hotel"

"No way Kate. You get in here right now" As she side steps so Beckett can come thru the door

Beckett drops her overnight bag just inside the doorway, takes her jacket off and lays it over the bag "Are you sure it's ok for me to spend the night. I mean I don't want to mess up anything you have planned"

"I am all alone tonight. Kevin and Espo are on a case. They just got called in at quitting time. So it will be just you and me tonight."

Lanie walks over to the cabinet and gets down two glasses and then pulls a bottle of red from the wine chiller. Lanie pours glasses for both of them and she walks into the living room and hands a glass to Beckett who is now sitting on the couch

"Well what brings my favorite Federal Agent to lower herself to visiting with simple citizens of New York?"

Lanie notices Kate is not laughing about her attempt at levity.

"I am ready to admit I screwed up. I mean I screwed up bad. As bad as can be"

Lanie is not sure how to respond to this comment. "OK, Kate. So what do you propose to do to fix this with the boys?"

Beckett is crying like the time she talked to Lanie after Castle was arrested for murder. Total misery all over Beckett's face

"Lanie it's not just the boys. I want to get back in their graces but I have to do something to get Rick back. I want him back. I need him so very bad!"

This fireball medical examiner, who spent several years trying her hardest to push Beckett into Castle's arms before they finally jumped into to each other then they fell apart And now she is sitting here looking at Kate knowing that it what she wants probably is not going to be happening for her anytime soon if ever

"Kate! I don't know if anything can be done now. It may be too late. I have all tried to talk to Castle but he said it is best if I leave him alone for right now. He said we all remind him of you and he is doing everything in his power to try to forget you. I'm sorry"

This is not what Kate Beckett wants to hear. She wants Lanie to tell her that everything is going to be ok. That she can help Beckett get Rick back. But Lanie is pretty much slamming the door in Kate's face when it comes to her relationship with Castle

Lanie watches Kate's face fall in complete despair. Beckett's body language tells the whole story now. She is trying to resolve to the fact that her love life with Castle is finally over. For Good.

Kate decides that she will spend the night with Lanie and tomorrow go see her dad then after that she will return to DC and to her new residence there. She is not calling it home. She cannot call it home because no matter what, home is Castle's loft. Now and for ever

Saturday morning Beckett gets up, showers and after her and Lanie finish cleaning up the breakfast dishes, she packs and bids her friend farewell promising to come back often for a visit. But Kate Beckett knows that without other reasons to return then it might be a very long time before these two have this type girl talk again.

Beckett catches a cab. Next stop her dad's building. She feels more tense this time knocking on his door The last time she had any lengthy talk with her father was when she told him about the job and how it was going to come between her and Castle. When she told her dad that Castle would hate her, she had no idea how far that hate for her went. She did not realize it would encompass every one of her friends how she just basically broke up the team. She destroyed several relationships.

Her dad told her that she would have live with that. She had no idea how heavy that burden could be.

Once inside her dad's place, the pleasantries were done and the father/daughter pair could just be themselves. The morning became afternoon then early evening. Jim avoided any questions about Castle, or the others so to not open any possible wounds that might be festering just under the surface.

Kate was afraid at some point in the visit her dad was going to say "I told you so Katie" but he kept the visit all about her and him and baseball. That made Kate's visit much more bearable

Diner time arrived and they left for a little Italian place that Jim had found and he told Kate she might like it. Unfortunately for Kate she did know the place very well. It was one where her and Rick had spent more than one romantic night cuddled in a corner booth munching bread sticks and sharing a vegetarian Lasagna

Kate was careful not to say anything and happily for her the hostess who did recognize her never mentioned her being a frequent guest

After dinner, her dad drops her off at the airport. After passing through screening, with her credentials of course, she has again placed herself into one of the less than comfortable chairs in the departure lounge. This time she has focused her interest on one of the television screens. This one tuned to a cable news channel. The reporter is describing the story of some human interest story about a woman and her dog that saved her life by running next door and alerting the neighbor after the woman suffered a heart attack.

She is focused on the story when the inbound plane arrives from Baltimore and the passengers exit the craft. She is sitting on the first row closest to the departure line from the plane out to the concourse and she does not see Richard Castle pass by behind her. This time he is less than five feet from her head.

She can feel the breeze caused by people rushing past in an attempt to be the first one out the door when she suddenly feels something in her senses. It is the smell of cologne, after shave, deodorant or simply the aroma of someone who you have been attached to and the brain alerts you to their presence. She turns to look, but too late. He has already left her field of view. She decides that it must have just been her imagination and her desires to be close to him again that caused her to react this way.

She retunes to the story about the dog .

* * *

After another month goes by, Richard Castle has not progressed any further away from Beckett than he was on day 1. He still avoids sleeping in the bed in the loft alone. It just feels empty now. So he has decided to make some other more permanent change. He tells his mother that he has received a request from the producers of the Nikki Heat movies to come to California for an extended period of time to be present for the filming of the second movie in the Nikki Heat franchise. So he tells Martha that he is moving out of the loft and will be going to live in California at least for the foreseeable future. He says that Alexis is moved to the point that he rarely sees her anymore and his mother can have the loft all to herself.

Martha appears, at least initially, to be glad at his departure but she finally says to him "Richard. I know that this has been the hardest few months of your life. But do you really think that moving to the other side of the country will make it any easier to forget her?"

"Yes I do, mother. Every day when I walk outside I pass some building that we were in doing an investigation and I think of her. If I see a coffee shop I think of all the coffees I brought to her. If I see a police car I think about the department and her. And worst of all when I see an unmarked police cruiser I can't help but look to see if by some chance she is inside. So yes! I think by moving away I will stand a better chance of forgetting her because all the things connecting to her will be here and I will be there"

"Son. I can promise you one thing. You will NEVER forget her. She was the one woman in your life that I could see took your heart away and she never gave it back. By moving away from here, you might think about her less, but I guarantee you will NEVER forget her. She is permanently burned into your soul"

Richard Castle is sitting at the desk in his office. Mentally he is agreeing with every word his mother just said. He knows that short of a mental breakdown he will never ever forget her

"But son, maybe this is for the best. Moving to California, you just might find that one woman who will fix you broken heart Remember only love can break a heart and only love can mend it again"

Not wanting to say anything to her he is thinking "I really don't want to another woman to mend it"


	5. Listen To The Rhythm Of The Falling Rain

This morning in New York City is dark and dreary. The sun is blocked by dark clouds and the rain is beginning to fall and bringing with it all the junk out of the air and depositing it on the concrete. The lack of sunshine just makes this morning harder for Castle.

He has totally avoided the boys for several months so today he is reaching out to them to try to re connect even if for a very brief moment. He pulls into the garage of the precinct and parks his Ferrari in the space formerly occupied by Kate's cruiser. He takes a small bag locks the car as he enters the elevator. When he arrives on the 4th floor he quickly looks around to find either Ryan or Esposito. He tries to avert his eyes past Beckett's desk that is now occupied by a new detective. One who Castle has not even met and may not since he is leaving the city right now.

Castle sees Ryan walking out of the break room carrying a cup of Espresso from the machine that Rick had given to them so many years ago.

"Hey Castle. What are you doing here? It's been long time since we have had the pleasure of your company"

"Good Morning Kevin. Where's Espo?"

The words no more leave Rick's mouth than he gets his answer from behind him as Javier walks up to the desk

"Hey Bro. Finally decide to rejoin the team? We have a couple of cases we could sure use your help on"

Castle's face drops a little "No, guys. Actually I am leaving the city for a while and…"

"Leaving? Going where?" Ryan jumps in

"I am moving to California"

That answer catches both detectives off guard.

Castle continues "They want me there to help in the rewrites for the current Heat movie and to write several more. They are planning on the franchise to continue for a few more years. So with me there, it is easier. And. Honestly I need to get away from here. There are just too many memories"

The two partners look at one another before Esposito says "Bro, we are sorry to see you go. We have really become accustomed to having you around."

"I guess we have to get a new mascot" Ryan quips

This comment does make Castle smile if not just a tiny bit

"But the real reason I came down I need to ask a favor from you both" Rick states

Esposito responds "Hum. This will cost you. Let me think…The Ferrari…"

Castle never flinches "That is the favor I am asking"

Esposito stops cold and had a question on his face

"I need someone to watch my car while I'm gone. You know drive it some. Keep gas in the tank. Wash it. Change the oil. Things like that. Do you think we can find someone to do that for me?" And Rick smiles a tiny bit

After working out the details about what kind of oil to put in it. Making sure it will be kept indoors. Castle tells the two men that he will try to keep in touch. They both know his phone number and he will call them when he gets settled in California and give them his address.

Richard Castle looks around the bull pin one more time then while still avoiding looking at Beckett's old desk he walks to the elevator, gets in, and presses the floor 1 button

Out on the street the rain has started falling heavier as Castle hails a cab. He gets in the back seat and tells the driver to take him to the airport. He turns his head and looks out the window and while hearing the sound of rain on the glass another song works its way into his brain

_*Listen to the rhythm of the falling rain_  
_Telling me just what a fool I've been_  
_I wish that it would go and let me cry in vain_  
_And let me be alone again_

_The only girl I care about has gone away_  
_Looking for a brand new start_  
_But little does she know that when she left that day_  
_Along with her she took my heart_

_Rain, please tell me now does that seem fair_  
_For her to steal my heart away when she don't care_  
_I can't love another when my heart's somewhere far away_

_The only girl I care about has gone away_  
_Looking for a brand new start_  
_But little does she know that when she left that day_  
_Along with her she took my heart_

_Rain, won't you tell her that I love her so_  
_Please ask the sun to set her heart aglow_  
_Rain in her heart and let the love we knew start to grow_

_Listen to the rhythm of the falling rain_  
_Telling me just what a fool I've been_  
_I wish that it would go and let me cry in vain_  
_And let me be alone again_

_Oh, listen to the falling rain_  
_Pitter patter, pitter patter_  
_Oh, listen, listen to the falling rain_  
_Pitter patter, pitter patter_  
_Oh, listen, listen to the falling rain_

* * *

A movie set is a strange place to be early in the morning. Everyone is arriving at different times. The actual performers are there early. They just are not on the set. They are in trailers getting make up, hair, costumes done. Spending hours upon hours preparing for actual camera time that might only be a few minutes of actual placing images on film a day. Or in the case of most modern shooting, digital storage.

As in most of the world today the film industry should be renamed something else since actual film is used less and less each year. Scenes that were once shot on location on street corners. On top of buildings, or even the Grand Canyon using actual film media are now done in front of a green screen using digital cameras and electronic storage of the images with the actors performing their lines in interaction with a stand in who represents the other character. Usually an imaginary creature or monster as to suit the writer's imagination. Then the background is added electronically so a man hanging from a building is actually on the ground and the rest is special effects

However, the shooting for the Nikki Heat series is still being done old school. The director has chosen to use real live actors in front of actual buildings or at the very least a set built to represent the place they are attempting to depict. And to use real cameras with real film. He believes the image acquired is more suiting to the characters that the stories they are telling.

Richard Castle has arrived just in time to meet with the director before the day's shooting begins. Jon Truduex is directing the latest movie, Heat Rises.

"Mr. Castle, I am Jon, welcome to the set"

"Thank you Jon, it is my pleasure to finally met you after all the telephone conversations we have had these last few weeks"

"I am so glad you came out. How long are you planning on staying in California" He asks Rick

"Well, Jon, depending, I might just make this my new home. If my Nikki Heat series continues going as well as it has for the first three movies, I may just make California my new base of operations. Back home in New York, all the leaves are brown and the sky is gray. But here? Well let's just say I feel more alive right now than I have for the last several months"

"Well, great. Listen I have to get with camera to do some set ups for today. Please go have some breakfast. The caterers we have are the best and I think you will find some wonderful meals."

He turns to his assistant "Please show Rick to the craft tables and make sure he is well taken care of" then the director turns and walks into the crowded movie set

"Mr. Castle. Please follow me" Shawana Jones, the PA leads the way to a seating area where several people are having breakfast "Mr. Castle, you can have continental all the way up to made to order omelets"

"Please call me Rick and I think I will just find a pastry"

As Rick looks across the table one item catches his eye. There is a tray filled with Bear Claws. This is an unusual item to have so many of them. He takes a napkin and reaches down to take one but stops short. This is the first item of Kate's favorite things he committed to memory. Re remembers so well her stuffing one in his mouth when he commented about her being in his dreams and just joining in with him in the escapades.

"Oh Rick those are bear claws and they are very good. Oh wait! I'm sorry you know what they are you wrote that Bear Claws are Nikki's favorite pastry"

Castle finally reaches down and takes one then steps over to the coffee post. There is a capichinio machine and he almost gets himself a skim latte but reaches over and pours a cup of regular breakfast blend coffee for himself instead.

The two step over to a table and sit down. Shawana starts the conversation "Is this your first time in California Mr. Castle. err I mean Rick?"

"No I have been here several times on vacation and once before when they shot the first Nikki Heat movie. I spent a few days here then"

Castle wishes he had not thought about that trip. It was the first time he really made a move on Beckett and they almost connected that night. He knows it almost happened then. He thinks that had they spent one more night in that hotel something probably would have popped between them. But he also knew she was seeing Josh and he is probably just having more wishful moments.

This trip may be harder than he thought. He believed this would get his mind away from her. Right now everything around him is just bringing her more to his mind.

"So you have been on a movie set before?"

The question snaps Rick back out of the funk "UH, Yes. I spent several days going over script items, but I did most of my work since then in e-mails. However this is more fun. Being here to see the actors and interact with them and give them my take on character development"

At that moment Castle hears a voice he recognizes "Rick" comes the sound from Natalie Rhodes "What are you doing here?"

Castle turns and stands at the sound of the actress playing his muse

"Natalie, great to see you"

Natalie grabs Rick around the neck and puts her lips close to his face and whispers in a sultry voice "Not Natalie! NIKKI!" she then gives him one long lingering kiss filled with tongue and a lot of "HEAT"

When she pulls away she looks into his eyes "Now that Beckett is out of the way is Jamison ready for a little Nikki action?"

* * *

**_*"Listen To The Rhythm Of The Falling Rain"_**

**_Performed by the Cascades_**

**_Words and Music by The Everly Brothers_**


	6. Leaving On A Jet Plane

This morning Agent Beckett is getting ready for her usual day of work. She opens the jewelry box to take out her mother's ring to put it around her neck she also picks up a small piece of folded paper that she had placed in this box. It is a letter from an old friend Mike Royce. She puts the note in her pocket then leaves for work. Once there she takes the note out and begins to read Mike's words of wisdom he wrote down for her back then. She considers how well Royce knew her then and he was spot on in his observations about her as a cop and later as her friend.

As she reaches the end of the note her heart starts to break. He was the one person who always told her how it was and how it should be. And here were his words to her that convicted her in every aspect of what she had done to what had once been a perfect romance

_And now for the hard part, kid. It's clear that you and Castle have something real. And you're fighting it. But trust me, putting the job ahead of your heart is a mistake. Risking our hearts is why we're alive. The last thing you want is to look back on your life, and wonder… _**_If only_**_._

She knows what she did to Castle because she feels like she did it to herself too by putting the job above her heart. She knows there is no way he can get over what she did to him but maybe she can at least heal the wound. She may not ever have that relationship back, but she will try to at least cover the open gash she made and let him heal

"Agent Beckett" the voice of authority speaks from beside her desk

"Special Agent Beckett" the voice much louder now.

This brings Kate out of the trance she was in

"Beckett" her supervisor SSA Jorgenson seems very upset by not getting her attention. "Are you not answering your phone anymore?"

Beckett realizes she has had her mind somewhere other than her current surroundings.

He looks down and she hears "Hot date got you distracted?"

Beckett simply says "Not in a long time. Sir"

Kate suddenly has a resolve in her heart that this job is not been what she wants "No sir, I have decided that this job is not for me. I will be processing my resignation as soon as I get back"

Kate grabs her bag, stands, and heads to exit the building.

"Beckett! Get back here now! Where do you think you are going?"

Kate turns toward the supervisor who is obviously angry at here attitude "Back to my home where I belong

When she arrives at her empty apartment she goes into the bedroom and grabs the nearest bag and packs for a couple of days. She is hoping that if Lanie can't put her up maybe her dad can let her stay at his place while she tries to reopen the old relationships at the 12th and maybe just maybe repair some old wounds.

She packs only the one carry on and rushes to the airport. She books her flight and then finds a seat in the lounge. While waiting for her flight to board she takes out the old note that she had forgotten and reads it one again.

* * *

At the New York airport she grabs a cab and looking at the time decides it is best to head for the morgue and meet Lanie there.

Once Beckett arrives at the morgue she goes inside and sees Lanie at an autopsy table working on her latest subject. Kate walks into the room and sets her bag down on the floor "Hey Lanie"

The medical examiner almost jumps out of her skin "Girlfriend, you scared me! What are you doing here?"

"I came to try to make amends. I am tired of solitude. I need the guys. I need you/ I need..."

Lanie looks at Kate straight in the eyes "You need Castle?"

Kate takes a d deep breath then lets it out slowly "Yeah I do"

With much sadness on her face Beckett's best friend responds "Kate I don't know if that will happen. I have not seen him in seeks or talked to him and I don't think the boys have either. I just don't know if that is possible. Have you tried to call him anymore?"

"Oh yeah I have. I know he is ignoring my calls. Actually I don't blame him"

"OK I am ready to leave, so let's you and me go to the station and try to see Ryan and Espo."

The two women get into Lanie's car and drive over to the 12th. When they pull into the basement Beckett sees a red car parked in her old space

"Lanie, Rick's here. There's his Ferrari over in my old parking space" Kate says very excitedly. She has become excited about getting to the homicide floor

"All right, let's go see what we can see" as Lanie parks and the two women enter the elevator. When they arrive on the 4th floor several people notice them but only a couple even acknowledge Beckett's presence and their demeanor is very standoffish

Ryan sees the women before Esposito "Hey Lanie, Hello Agent Beckett" he says very formally

"Hi guys" Kate responds

"What brings you to New York Agent Beckett? Planning on taking one of our cases away from us?" Esposito comments rather cool

"I saw the Ferrari downstairs. Is Castle here?" Kate tries to sidestep the statement

"Rick moved away Agent Beckett. As if you really ever cared about him!"

Ryan's answer finally breaks what little resolve Kate had left. Kate's face falls and she turns to walk back to the elevator and presses the button. The door open and she steps in without saying another word then selects the basement button. As the doors close she breaks down and the tears flow

Lanie turns to the two detectives "She came here today to admit she screwed up with all of us and to apologize to you two and you did not even give her a chance" Then Lanie heads for the stairs so she can be at the car when Kate arrives

When the elevator doors open Beckett steps out and Lanie takes her and drags her to the car and the two women head out to the ME's apartment for girl's night. Lanie is going to try to peal every thing out of Beckett she can get

Once they arrive and go inside, Beckett goes into the bathroom to wash her face and try to fix her makeup while Lanie calls in an order of Chinese. She opens a bottle of wine and pours two glasses and then waits for Beckett's return. After a few minutes Kate comes out of the bathroom. She has changed into lounging pajamas but her eyes are still showing the emotions that were brought out by the encounter with her former best friends

"Thanks" Kate says while taking the glass from her best friend "I guess you and my dad are the only two who will have anything to do with me?" Beckett sits down on a stool at the counter.

Lanie chooses her words wisely. "Sweetie, everyone here was hurt by what happened. We all felt betrayed. We thought that we had a better relationship than what happened. For you to just up and leave when a better deal came through for you looked like none of us counted. And then to top it off you left Castle too."

Kate's eyes fill again "Lanie it's complicated"

"Girlfriend! I have heard that from you for four years before you two got together now this is going to be your excuse again?. I'm sorry Kate. It is not complicated. It's you running away as fast as you can. Now! Tell me what happened and I want the truth"

Beckett's fingers slide around the glass in her hand. She is trying to think of an answer that will make sense to Lanie. She takes a deep breath then lets it out

"I told Rick I loved him"

"All right you just stated what we all already knew"

"Lanie, I have never told any man I loved him"

"Were you just afraid say that to a man?"

Kate takes another deep breath "No Lanie! I mean I have never loved a man before. At least not like I love Rick"

"Kate are you scared of him or rather the relationship you had with him?"

"Yes! Before Captain Montgomery got shot Castle called me down about my feelings including my own unspoken feelings about him. He told me that I hid in relationships with men I did not love. He made me mad because he was right. Dr. Burke asked me once if I was afraid that Castle would not wait for me or I was afraid that he would. I guess I was afraid he would wait. And he did wait"

"So you ran?"

"Every time it looked like Castle and I might get close, I ran away. Then we got together and it was…it was everything I hoped it was going to be and then even more"

"So that is why you left? You fell in love?"

"Yes"

"Kate you've got to get him back. I am not sure how, but I do know he is hurting. I did not tell the boys or you but Alexis and I still talk some and she said her dad is lost. He is hurting like she has never seen but he has not dated or even looked at another woman. In fact she told me something about him. He has not even slept in his own bed since you left. He said it smells like you"

"Lanie, what can I do? I don't know how to fix this?"

Lanie's answer is interrupted by the delivery of the food. She goes to the door and brings the boxes in and sets them down on the counter while Kate clears a spot for them to eat. While they are eating, Lanie has turned the television on and tuned it to the television program "The Hollywood Hacker". This is a tabloid style program known for its seedy stories. Many are based on anything except the truth.

"Tonight's story comes from Hollywood where the latest Nikki Heat movie is in production. Cameras have captured the star of the movie, Natalie Rhodes, involved in some serious lip lock with the author of the series Richard Castle. The couple was seen in some heavy duty kissing on the set just the other day…"

Lanie watches as Kate's face falls and her eyes again fill with unshed tears "Oh sweetie! I am so sorry. You know this is only temporary"

"Do I?" Kate repeats her own words from when she saw Natalie try to go after Rick a few years ago "…until she steals my boyfriend and kills me in my sleep..."


	7. Stay With Me

Katherine Houghton Beckett is still asleep when Lanie gets up. She makes a pot of coffee just for Kate since Lanie drinks tea instead it appears that she has cried herself to sleep on the couch last night. There is a pile of tissues on the floor beside her

Lanie tried to be as quiet as possible in the kitchen but after only a few minutes she hears a groan come from the former detective

"Good morning girlfriend" Lanie says as she is handing Kate a cup of coffee.

"Thanks Lanie" Kate puts the warm liquid into her mouth and pits the smallest of smiles on her face.

"I am not going to ask if you slept well, I can tell you didn't"

Beckett looks at the pile of used tissues on the floor and frowns. She reaches down and starts picking up the paper squares and places them into a trash can beside the couch.

"I'm sorry to be so much trouble, Lanie. As soon as I can get dressed I will head back to DC so as not to bother you any more."

"No you will not do any thing of the sort Katherine Beckett! We are going to make a plan and we are going to try to get this mess cleaned up"

"Thanks Lanie, but I have made my bed and I guess I am going to have to sleep in it from now on"

"NO! I said! We may try to make up a bed, and if you sleep in it, let's try to not be alone. OK?"

"Thanks Lanie, but what am I to do? The boys hate me, Castle hates me. Everyone hates me. I deserve all this. I did it to myself"

"Kate, I talked to Javi last night after you went to bed. I told him what is going on and I think they might be willing to help if they think you are really sorry for what happened."

"Lanie, Castle's car was there. Where is he?"

"The boys are taking care of the Ferrari for Castle .That's why it's in the garage. They know where he is living .They have an address for him."

She holds up a piece of paper at Beckett. "Now if you are really interested I will give you this address. Or if you really don't care about him anymore, I will just…" She takes the paper as if she is going to tear it apart.

Beckett grabs the note from her best friend's hand and looks at it. The address is in Los Angeles

"So he really is in LA with Natalie?" Beckett asks with sadness written on her face

"I don't know if this address is hers but, there is a flight in 3 hours and I already have you booked on it. So are you leaving on it or do I call and cancel your reservations?"

Kate jumps up and heads to the bathroom "Let me grab a quick shower and can you take me to the airport?"

"That's more like it!" the feisty medial examiner responds

Same gate, same flight that Kate had taken several years before to go to LA when she went to look into Mike Royce's death. Just this time there was no mystery writer there to upgrade her to first class. And just like before she is sandwiched between two very rough looking, very large men leaving her no room to even put her arms down to her side.

But when one of the men decides to make an unwelcome pass at Kate, she just happened to let her arm move so he could see her badge and her weapon. From that moment on the flight went much quieter.

Kate leans her head back on the head rest and tries to sleep when the words to a song come to her. Words that fit perfectly into her life. Words that tell what happened that night she gave herself completely to Castle for the first time. What she would give now to return to that bliss

* * *

_*Raindrops, Fall From, Everywhere_  
_I Reach Out, For You, But Your Not There_  
_So I Stood, Waiting, In The Dark_  
_With Your Picture, In My Hands_  
_Story Of a Broken Heart_

_I'm Trying And Hoping, For The Day_  
_When my touch is enough_  
_To Take The Pain Away_  
_Cause I've Searched For So Long_  
_The Answer Is Clear_  
_We'll be OK if We Don't Let It Disappear_

_I've searched my heart over_  
_So many many times before_  
_No you and I, is like no stars to light the sky at night_  
_Our Picture Hangs Up To_  
_Remind Me Of The Days_  
_You Promised Me We'd_

_**Always** Be_  
_And Never Go Away_  
_That's Why I Need You To Stay_

_Stay With Me_  
_Don't let Me go_  
_Cause I Can't Be Without You_  
_Just Stay With Me_  
_And Hold Me Close_  
_Because I've Built My World Around You_  
_And I Don't Wanna Know What's It Like Without You_  
_So Stay with Me_  
_Just Stay With Me_

* * *

Beckett is jolted awake by the aircraft wheels hitting the tarmac at LAX. She realizes that she has slept over 5 hours. She really was tired and needed the rest. The plane ride gave her that opportunity.

Since she took only the one carry on that she had a Lanie's, she could avoid baggage claim and is rushing to get a cab to go to the address that she given by her best friend

The taxi pulls in front of a large California Spanish style house. It has gated front entry with security camera and intercom. She asks the driver to wait until she gets inside.

She buzzes and when someone answers, it is a woman's voice she hears. Beckett identifies herself as a federal agent and the gate is opened. She walks up to the front door and when it opens she comes face to face with Natalie Rhodes

"Kate!" Natalie says with much surprise in her voice "What are you doing here?"

"This is an address I was given where I could find Richard Castle" Beckett answers not really wanting the answer she is expecting

"Oh yes, he is out back. Let me go get him for you" Natalie turns and walks through the hallway and out toward the pool

She takes in a deep breath. She feels her heart in her throat. He has moved in with Natalie. Just what Beckett was afraid might have happened after what she saw on the TV program. With this information now when he comes to the door she is expecting to be completely rejected by him. She is bracing for his angry attack. She knows she deserves it

Natalie returns to the front door. "Rick will be here in just a minute. He is getting dressed. Would you like something to drink? Coffee maybe? I know how much you love your coffee"

Swallowing her tears, "No thank you. I will just need to speak to Castle for just a minute"

"Well please come into the living room and wait" Natalie points toward a large area adjacent to the entry hall

Natalie leads Kate to the couch then they both sit down

"Well Kate I understand you are with the feds now and no longer chasing murderers in New York"

"I am for right now. But I plan to return to the city and maybe go back to the police department real soon."

Natalie obviously has something on her mind "Kate, can I ask you a question?"

The last time Natalie wanted to ask Kate a question she said that Castle would not sleep with her and knew that Castle was into Kate and she was into Rick

"Sure"

"What happened between you and Castle?"

Kate is looking at her feet trying to form an answer "What do you mean?"

"He says he came here to get away from New York. He said there were too many memories there for him to handle right now. Those memories are all about you, aren't they?"

"We did, but I messed it up. Look Natalie, I'm sorry I came by today and interrupted you two. Please excuse me. I will leave now."

"We are not together, Kate. He is still into you"

Kate gets up and walks or more accurately runs out the front door and starts down the driveway. As she nears the gate, Rick comes to the door

"KATE!" he yells to her. "STOP!

Beckett exits the grounds and enter the street

The sound of squealing tires and the terrible thud of a body being hit by a car resounds throughout the compound

Richard Castle runs down to find Beckett on her back in the street

He kneels down and places his hands under her neck

"Kate stay with me. Stay with me Kate"

"I LOVE YOU"

* * *

***"Stay With Me"  
Performed by DANITY KANE  
Words and music by Arnthor Birgisson / Makeba Riddick**

* * *

**I believe I need to wrap this up. So the next chapter is going to be the last. I can only spend so much time  
sick to my stomach thinking about the last three episodes.**

Therefore I will warn you ahead of time.  
The last chapter will completely deviate from canon.  
Just pretend you never saw Quail, Human Factor or Watershed


	8. We Close Our Eyes

**Time to finish up another of my crazy stories.  
Until...whenever  
**

* * *

_*When everybody is running in the big race_  
_And having a good time_  
_Who am I to cast a shadow_  
_Who am I?_  
_I looked Death in the face last night_  
_I saw him in a mirror_  
_And he simply smiled_  
_He told me not to worry_  
_He told me just to take my time_

_And if you come to me_  
_And if you touch my hand_  
_I might just slip away_  
_I might just disappear_  
_Who am I?_  
_And if you think I'm worth it_  
_And if you think it's not too late_  
_We might start falling_  
_If we don't try to hard_  
_We might start falling in love_

_We're on the healing path_  
_We're on a roller coaster ride_  
_That could never turn back_  
_And if you love me_  
_And if you really try_  
_To make the seconds count_  
_Then we can close our eyes_

___We close our eyes and the world has turned around again_  
_We close our eyes and dream and another year has come and gone_  
_We close our eyes and the world has turned around again  
_  
_We close our eyes and dream ..._We close our eyes and the world has turned around again

* * *

"Kate Stay with me Kate I love you. I love you Kate" She hears his voice from somewhere

"She feels like she is trapped in a dream and she can't wake up from it

Maybe a nightmare instead.

Her head is spinning.

Confusion

She can't see. Her eyes are open but

There is a bright light in her them

Everything around her is bright white.

"Kate can you hear me?" A man's voice that she doesn't recognize calls her again.

"Let's start an IV" A woman says

"Get her on the gurney" another voice says

Her head is pounding But she keeps hearing his voice over and over like he is calling her back from wherever she has gone.

"Kate Stay with me Kate I love you. I love you Kate"

There she heard it again. She tries to speak but no words will come out. Then she feels like someone is picking her up. She is being put on a bed or a cot.

They are putting straps around her. Her arms are trapped.

Then his voice again "Kate, it's going to be OK. You are going to be fine. They are taking you to the hospital. You're going to be fine"

I want to talk to him. Let me talk to Rick. I need to talk to him. She tries to speak but no words come from her mouth

"Let's get her in the ambulance." Someone says.

"You can ride in the back Mr. Castle" She hears another voice speak as she is lifted into the back of the unit. "We will be taking her to memorial"

She hears the siren as they ambulance pulls away. The inside is noisy but she can still hear Castle speaking "Stay with me Kate. Can you feel my hand?"

She can feel him holding her hand and she does manage to take a little firmer grip

"She squeezed my hand! She squeezed my hand" He repeats

She feels the vehicle bounce over the city streets then slows down and turns to back into the bay at the hospital. The back opens and she is wheeled into one of the trauma rooms.

Castle speaks up to someone "OK. Kate gets the best doctors there are. Understand whatever it takes. She gets the best care there is available OK?"

Kate hears Castle's voice pleading to whoever is listening. "I want her taken care of! Understand?"

"Yes we understand" someone answers

Castle has not let go of Kate's hand. She can still feel him holding her hand with a vice grip

"Mr. Castle you must let go of her so we can check her out OK?" A woman's voice speaks gently but with authority

Castle tries to pull his hand away, but Kate grips it tighter.

The woman speaks "Kate, let us help you. But right now your husband needs to go do some paperwork for us so let go of his hand"

She loosens her grip on Castle's hand. The husband comment from the doctor did not go unnoticed by Kate

"Mr. Castle. We have her. Now please go to the waiting room. Someone will come to get you to fill out some paperwork on your wife."

"She's not my wife"

"Oh! I see. Is there a family member we can get a hold of to give permission to treat?"

"Her father is her only living relative"

"Can you reach him?"

"Yes, I will call him"

"So please go to the waiting room and call him then we will call you when we know something"

The comment from someone calling her Castle's wife caused her heart skip a beat

Then she hears more voices that she doesn't recognize. There are people all around her. She is not real sure exactly what has happened. She just knows that she wants him back next to her as soon as she can get him. She feels them taking her clothes off and putting a gown on her. Connecting wires and tubes and an oxygen tube.

Rick has called Jim Beckett who is on his way down along with the boys and Lanie. They all tell him that they will be there in 10 minutes. The boys arrive first and rush into the waiting area

"What happened Bro," Esposito asks first just as Lanie also enters the area

"I don't know" Castle responds "we were sitting on the swings at the park and I asked her a question and her face lost all of its color and she just crumbled and dropped to the ground. I tried to catch her but I wasn't in a good position to stop her fall"

He is not about to tell everyone else he was on his knees proposing to Kate when she just collapsed.

"I called 9-1-1 and they brought her here. She was semi c_onsciousness_ when they brought her in"

Lanie looks at Castle and with a voice that belongs in the interrogation room and asks "Were you and her talking about her new job?"

"Not exactly. I knew about it, but that was not center of the current conversation we were having when she fainted"

"JOB? WHAT JOB?" Espo asks of the group

Castle looks to the partners "Kate was offered a job in DC. But that is not what was happening when she went down"

"Richard Castle! Is Beckett pregnant?" Lanie brings both barrels to bear

"OH! Not that I know of. Why? Do you think that is why she passed out?"

"That is one thing that could cause her to go out like that"

About this time the nurse comes out into the waiting room "Beckett Family"

All four get up along with Jim who is just entering the door. "Which one is Rick?" The nurse asks

"That's me" Castle answers

"Follow me. She has asked for you"

"But this is her father. Shouldn't he be first?"

"Normally , but she said she needs to see you and you alone at this moment"

Castle looks over to Jim and shrugs his shoulders then turns to follow the nurse.

"Mr. Castle, Ms. Beckett is going to be fine. It appears she caught some type of virus that caused her to be weak. Possibly food poisoning. She said she was out of town yesterday and she had something there that she doesn't want again. Then she said something happened at the park that probably brought on the fainting spell but she needed to talk to you about that before bringing everyone else in to see her"

Castle enters the examination room to see Kate propped up a pillow with a sheepish smile on her face "Hey"

"Hey yourself. You gave me quite a scare" Castle speaks softly to her

"I gave you a scare? What about what you did to me?" She responds with a giant smile on her face

"What did I do?" Rick asks as if he didn't know

"You know exactly what you did"

This is giving Castle nerves again. He is not real sure where he needs to go with his plan.

"Now that I am in a little better condition, you want to try the conversation again?"

Castle pulls a chair up beside the bed and sits down next to her.

"Kate, I want you to know I did not do that out of desperation"

"I know." She reaches out and places her fingers on his face "I know you have had the ring for several years"

Real shock is on his face "UH?...What?...How do you know that?"

"You told me. You bought it several years ago. You carried around with you on several occasions. You bought it when you put me on your bucket list. I know you had it in your pocket that night we fought over the Maddox deal."

Richard Castle is stunned "But Kate! I never said anything to you about this. Ever"

"You did though. While I was unc_onsciousness_ I lived an entire lifetime without you. I saw what my life would be if I took the DC job and moved away. I saw what I would loose if I left here. Lanie, the boys but most importantly, what I would loose that is right here beside me. You"

Both are fighting back tears "So Richard Edgar Castle! Is there anything you want to say to me now that I am not going to pass out?"

He moves down on one knee again "Katherine Houghton Beckett. Will you merry me?"

The entire emergency department including the guests in the waiting room can hear the answer

"YES!"

* * *

***We Close Our Eyes**

**Written and performed by Danny Elfman**


End file.
